New Year, who dis?

I was talking to one of my best friends recently and shared that for the first time in a long time I am very hopeful, excited and expectant for this new year. I know what my resolutions will be and they’re not traditional by any means. But these are three things that I feel will be SO good for us.

  1. Leafy greens
  2. Sex
  3. #UnoDinner

These three ~resolutions~ will take care of me, take care of my relationship with my husband, and take care of my relationships with friends. Keep reading for an explanation on these weird resolutions.

The typical resolution is to work out more and lose weight. That’s fine and all but I’m tired of lying to myself. I want to give myself something realistic that I KNOW I can do. Just add more leafy greens to what I’m already eating. The hope is that eating more salad will make me a little more full before I can get to the normal food. I’ll be giving my body the things it needs.

A friend of mine shared with me something told to her before she got married: “before you’re married, the Devil will try to get you in the marriage bed. After you’re married, he’ll try to keep you out of it.” Now, that’s probably not theologically sound, but I believe it! Schedules get busy, late nights of work, too many commitments, too heavy of a dinner (I.E. bloating), and flat out laziness. I’m sorry if this is TMI. I bet my mom is cringing right now reading this (sorry, Ma). But I want to be honest about this. It’s a real problem that a lot of married couples face and no one ever talks about it. You go into marriage with your “sexpectations” being one thing and a year later it looks nothing like what you expected. There’s no shame in that, sisters. But we (I) can’t let being lazy be a habit. My hubby deserves some lovin every day for the rest of his life and homeboy would take it for sure. But like, let’s also be realistic, ladies. I’ve seen what not having consistent sex with Jon has done to our marriage. I’ve also seen what it does when we have been consistent. I’m not saying I’m going to do it every day, because that is not realistic for ME. But as Jon and I enter this season of trying to start a family, it works in our favor to be having some marital fun pretty often πŸ˜‰ Plus, apparently it’s harder to make time for sex after a baby comes into the picture. I have no excuse right now pre-baby.

I noticed this year that I isolated myself a lot. I went through some stormy seasons in 2017. I fought some battles that I’d never fought before and I didn’t feel equipped for those battles. When I lost, I isolated myself. Avoided friends, turned down game nights, movie nights and such. It felt better to be alone, but as I sat alone–it SUCKED and I felt worse. Humans were not created to do life alone. Community is so important. In October, I shared with Jon my idea of #UnoDinner. Every month we will have a friend(s) over for dinner at our place. (This gets me in the kitchen practicing cooking and cleaning lulz). We’ll spend that time getting to know them, hosting them, being in community, growing our relationships and learning to be good friends. Then before the night is over, we have to play at least one round of Uno Attack. Yes, Uno. It’s my favorite game, it’s the easiest game, and also you really learn a lot about a person when you play games with them.

(If you’d like to be in our cup of names that we will draw from every month, comment below!)

I probably gave y’all a lot of information about my life that you did not ask for, but you DID sign up for it by subscribing πŸ˜‰

Are you making any resolutions for 2018? Are you dreading this new year? Feeling hopeful for something? If so, what are you hopeful for? And how can I be praying for you in this coming year?

Happy New Year,

Keilah

 

 

One thought on “New Year, who dis?

  1. It’s so awesome that you are being proactive in improving all aspects of your life. Jason and I have been married for only 3 years but we decided early on to have sex at least once a week because honestly, it keeps us connected, especially after 2 kids. In addition, we still hold hands in the car and on occasion make out like we did when we first started dating, which helps keep that spark between us. I still get a smile on my face when I get a random text from him asking about my day and he feels the same when I send one to him. That being said i’d also like to add that no marriage is perfect and sometimes I want to judo chop him in the throat lol! My point is if you’re putting in the effort he should be too and I have no doubt that he will. As far as the bedroom goes, communication is KEY! The big O doesn’t always happen every time for women and that’s a proven fact. Don’t be afraid to voice likes/dislikes to him and never fake it! You aren’t doing either of you any favors by doing that(sorry cousin Lorena if you’re reading). He will appreciate your honesty and that should only bring you guys closer together….and also make him want to try harder next time Lol! Again, sorry cousin Lorena!

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